Bees: 65%
Ants: 35%
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🦜 Best darn responses.
Bees
Lots of responses dealing with either:
- Commanding bees to not die anymore for the benefit of us all.
- Directing bees to swarm and sting their enemies (Lots of answers to all sorts of scenarios we pose have to deal with people's enemies. Why do you all have so many enemies!?
"Ok, so like AntMan and the Wasp are cool and all, but if I could command bees I would never get stung again. More importantly I could make sure my kids never get stung again because that has never gone well. Some how the bees only sting my kids when we're miles away from home and ice and all the other stuff you need to treat bee stings.
"I wouldn't trust myself with the power of being able to control all of the ants... I'd use it for evil... So I chose bees." -
hellolilah.comRespect for knowing your limits. The world thanks you. - Chris
"C'mon...bees fly! And FLOWERS all day everyday! Their "work" is way more fun and colorful than ants!" -
@NtJstAnotherJen
Ants
The gist here is that you generally either hate ants in your house or would like ants much better if they contributed to the household. Fair enough.
"I'd have a house full of ants doing chores: picking up floor crumbs, unclogging hair from the shower, passing the joint...
Glad you're back, we need more emails to make our inbox worth it." -
@snailhavenshowsShucks, that's an incredibly nice thing to say. Thank you. - Chris
"So, I love the youtube channel Kurzgesagt – In a Nutshell. They do some really informative videos, meshing animation and information into a really nice package. They had a series about how there's a war going on between supercolonies of ants right under our noses. There are thousands of different species. There are literal quadrillions of ants on the world. They take other insects as slaves. They have complex social structures and they divide up work and roles efficiently. They have
farmers, soldiers, caretakers, explorers, administrative (if you can believe it). If I was the Ant Commander, and I found the Bee Berseker, my arch-nemesis, I'm fairly confident I would win with just the sheer tons of biomass available to me. Imagine, a literal moving mountain of ants, inexorably enveloping you, squeezing, biting.
Also, have you ever tried to stop an ant infestation? I could teach them how to gather information, I could teach them to infiltrate banks, top secret locations. I finally could tip the balances of power of this world towards the 99%. I could instruct them to pull Putin out of his bed and carry him into the Red Square in the middle of the night. The possibilities are endless. Yeah, bees can sting and fly and make honey. Let them eat honey. I've got plans to redistribute true wealth." -
@zacheryrose5Oh, how I've missed your well reasoned responses to these ridiculous scenarios. - Chris
"I mean, bees don’t bother you. Ants come in your house. I’d love to be able to tell them to GTFOH." -
@artisticdork
"Twice a year those buggers come crawling in to our house. And twice a year I wish I had the power to command that battalion of armored nano tanks to haul their little tuchases back outside where they belong!" -
@seanmetzgar
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